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I find it hard.


Life is hard,
that's why it is worth living.


I find it hard to trust.


Trust is meant to be earned,
that's why it is worth having.


I find it hard to trust...


If trust came easily,
it would not exist.


I find it hard to trust...


Trust me, I'll be here.
I'll be the wind beneath your wings,
the bones in your body,
the air in your lungs.
Trust me, I'll be here.


I find it hard to trust... you.










Silence


Pretty words and attractive promises
are all you have to offer.
Fill my head with nonsense.
Fill my heart with love.
Play up my girlish fantasies.
Make me believe that you love me.


I find it hard.


The mind is a scary place.
So deep and dark with instincts
and subconscious desires.
The gears grind with new ideas,
new thoughts and plans and schemes.


My mind is a scary place.
In it, I am drowning.
Not metaphorically.
Not in love or money or happiness.


I am drowning in life.


The daily routine grabs at my feet,
each day dragging me further.
Wake up, think, feel.
Feel - since when?
Another day, another inch.


And still,
I find it hard to trust.


Little white lies build UP and bre ak down.
Ironic how love does the same.
The rollercoaster spins and falls,
my stomach is left behind and I feel sick.
The rollercoaster rises
and the whole world is in my hands.
My face hurts from the smile.
Ironic how happiness brings pain.


If I were the earth, and you the sky
would you show me how to fly?
Could I trust that no harm would come to me,
could I just live and let be?
Would I find peace in your love?
If we were meant for something greater,
would I find it, or be left to wonder?


If your love is so profound, why must I search?
I cannot solve your riddle,
and you cannot see.


I find it hard.
I find it hard to trust.
I find it hard to trust you.


Every dog has its day.
Every good boy deserves fudge.
And,
every story has its end.